Putting It All Out There. Maybe.

Hello again.

Since the last time I wrote, to my own shock, I actually DID start working out again. I will admit that I gave up after a few days the first week because I was so damn sore from my leg day workout. Weak. The following week I was just trying to get through that horrible time that most ladies get. Y’all know what I’m sayin’. So I pretty much was deadddd. But I’m back at it this week! It’s Wednesday and I worked out both Monday AND Tuesday. Today is a cold and rainy day here in the DFW area and I’m spending it indoors cuddled up with my dogs. No worries though. My workouts are home workouts that don’t require fancy gym equipment – just bodyweight or light dumbbells.

I went to my primary care physician this week for my annual physical and because they wouldn’t refill my medicine without checking in again. I still need to go back to get my blood drawn for labs because I was in a rush on Monday, so I should have results back early next week. My blood pressure was good (to my surprise) but my weight has obviously gone up since I saw him last year though. I had gone down some around May but I gained it back and more. Here’s to me being brave… *breathe* My highest weight is now roughly 289 (with clothes – that makes a difference right???) UGH! I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone my weight except my husband. This is really hard to admit. However, I think it’s an important step in my journey. By putting it out there I have given myself some sort of accountability as I don’t want to come back and say I’ve gained even more weight. I’m telling y’all, I really want to try this time. I want to lose the weight. I NEED to lose the weight and get healthier. There are a couple of reasons for this besides the fact that I’m tired of walking around feeling like Violet from Willy Wonka.


I feel so round.

My mom has been dealing with several health issues for a while now. She was diagnosed with stomach ulcers, attributed to stress, many years ago. Most recently she was diagnosed with gout, arthritis (not sure which kind), and the scariest is Diabetes Type 2. It’s scary to hear because she’s had issues with her sugar before and doesn’t like to take medicine and she’s stubborn in her eating habits. She doesn’t live in the safest of neighborhoods so I’m glad she owns a treadmill but I’m not sure how often she uses it. My point is that Diabetes is a real threat to my health, not only due to my PCOS and insulin resistance but now it’s most likely always been in my genetics.

(NOTE: to my IRL friends and family, please don’t bring up what I’m about to say because it’s a difficult subject for me to talk about seriously…I know I joke about it and have been known to say I just want dogs but that’s just a front so I don’t have to delve deeper into the subject.)

The other biggest reason I really need to get my stuff together is that my husband and I want to get started on our family. It’s a touchy subject for me with my health and the possibilities. The what-ifs scare me. I might post about it another day, maybe.

But there you have it. This is more for myself, as usual, just to get my thoughts out and try and work through stuff. I’m working on getting my eating habits on a healthy track. I’ll be starting Victoza again – just a sample for now – along with my regular meds. I’m hoping it will get me started in the right direction along with my exercise plan and diet. Low carb is what I’m aiming for or at least fewer carbs and take out/fast food, for now, so please share any recipes or Pinterest boards if you’d like.




It’s Official…

…I am at my highest weight, ever! It’s depressing and shameful, but not all that surprising. There is so much I could be doing for my health but haven’t been trying hard enough, or at all if I’m being honest.

Over the weekend I took a look at my goals and figured out which ones I was on track with and which ones I wasn’t. I saw a meme the other day on Instagram: January was a free trial month. My knee is healing and I’m moving around more now. Slowly, but surely, my daily steps have increased. I restarted my supplement regimen and am taking my medicine more consistently. For the most part, I’ve really cut back on dining out this month as well.

January wraps up today and tomorrow is a new day. A new month. A fresh start. I’m going to continue my progress on the things mentioned above that I’m doing OK at. Changes for the month include starting PT for my knee, focusing on nutrition, and decluttering our apartment.

For physical therapy, I’m supposed to be working on my range of motion. This means hitting the gym at my apartment complex and becoming friends with the stationary bike for at least 20 mins a day. Alright, that’s easy enough, right? Then why haven’t I been doing it?? This HAS TO BE a priority if my knee surgery is to truly be a success. I don’t want a messed up knee.

Logging my food will probably be my best bet to get my nutrition on track. How can something be fixed if you don’t know the extent of the problem? Decreasing carb intake is the main goal of logging my meals. Insulin resistance makes it difficult to process carbs normally and has really lead to weight gain, especially around my belly. A ketogenic diet has worked the best for me previously in trying to lose weight. However, that was difficult because the best foods in life are carb-ilicious! Paleo, Whole 30, and Clean Eating are all fairly similar to me and I’ll be using their recipes and meal ideas as starting points. I will be trying to cut back on carbs to my previous doctor’s recommendation of less than 100g. Gotta go home and dust off our little food scale.

The last major change this coming month is decluttering and getting rid of stuff. Having a messy home can cause stress, even if you’re not consciously aware of it. Why do you think so many people clean when they have a big project to work on? Yes, it’s procrastination, but it is also a way of clearing your mind and allowing creativity to flow. We have a small apartment and two dogs. We’re not hoarders but we’re also not neat freaks. We have more clothes than we need (mostly my husband – in my obese state, I currently hate clothes shopping). This leads to piles of laundry and I hate putting up laundry so there are clothes all over the freaking place. I also have lots of art and crafts type items that I don’t use. I keep them around “just in case” a project needs them. Unfortunately, I’m all ideas and no execution. I’m just tired of seeing all the cluttered spaces around our home because it overwhelms me to the point that I don’t even know where to start and give up immediately. But no more!  So buh-bye. You gots to go, stuff.

Who’s with me on pushing the restart button to the year?!





My Obsession Monday: Coconut Bake

Warning: I’m about to brag a little about my husband. 😉

My man is pretty hot and he’s been working his butt off weight training all summer. He definitely motivates me to keep going. Gains, yo! Because he’s working on building muscle, he eats a lot of protein and because he loves me, he gets up most mornings and makes us breakfast. I am sooooo lucky! However, there are days when he wants to sleep in or I have extra bananas I need to use so I have an easy breakfast alternative to our usual eggs and bacon (at least for me – he’s allergic to coconut – yes, his life is a little bit darker because of it). Drumroll please.


Coconut Flour Breakfast Bake!

Photo credit: Evan at thewannabechef.net

I found this recipe on Pinterest, of course. It is super easy to make, very quick, nutritious (low carb, gluten free, AND dairy free), and tastes a little like banana cake. FOR BREAKFAST!

Seriously, it takes about 5 minutes to whip this baby up and then yell “Get in mah belly!” (Am I the only one who still does that?) Ingredient list is minimal: eggs, coconut flour, banana, and a few other things for flavor. I’ve even added nutmeg and ground clove to it. You can top it with peanut butter like the original, or maybe some whipped cream and fruit? Boy, that sounds good.

Check out the recipe at thewannabechef.net (the photo is also linked), try it out, make your own version, and let me know what you think.

June 2015 Goals

Today is the first of the month AND of the week which means it’s a great day to start fresh. We’re basically halfway through the year already so gotta get on it!!

This past week and a half my focus shifted from simply trying to lose weight to look better to losing weight for my health and my future. I know I couldn’t make a complete overhaul because that would have overwhelmed me, so I started by working on cutting back on carbs. My limit is 100 g a day per my doctor’s orders. While it’s been difficult it hasn’t been impossible. By cutting back on my carbs and taking some new supplements, along with a small dose of Metformin, I’m already seeing results. The annoying chacne (chin acne –  thank you Tina Fey) I’ve been suffering with lately is finally clearing up! I’ve also lost about 3 lbs and hubby said my face even looked thinner. 🙂

So I will now try to keep the momentum going into this month. Below are just a few of the things I’ll be working on.

June 2015 Goals

  • Cardio/exercise at least 30 minutes 5X a week – Doc’s orders
  • Continue to stay under 100 g of carbs daily – It’s definitely a lifestyle change
  • Cut back significantly on dairy and gluten – both are bad for PCOS symptoms
  • Establish a morning & nighttime routine – I currently don’t really have one and it makes my sleeping problems worse
  • Go on a date night with my hubby – we haven’t really gone out in a while
  • Change my legal name – Yea, I still haven’t done that either (my bad)
  • Try a yoga class

What are some of your goals for the month?

PCOS? Say what??

After my last post I got a few messages from concerned friends. I guess I should have expected that since I have some of the greatest friends ever. 😉 I guess I can try to give y’all and anyone else who’s curious some more information on what PCOS is and what I might be dealing with for my future. [Side note: We won’t know for sure until we do a hormone test or more blood work next month at my follow up appointment.]

PCOS is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and is characterized by ovarian cysts, irregular menstrual cycles, and/or an excess of male hormones. A woman does not have to have all three of those to have PCOS. The hormone imbalance seems to be what causes a lot of the annoying symptoms women with PCOS have to deal with. These can include male pattern balding or thinning hair, acne, abnormal hair growth (such as sideburns, chin, chest, stomach, etc. – basically “unladylike” hair growth), weight issues, etc. It also causes insulin-resistance which is what I’m just learning more about.

While my husband and I aren’t planning on having children just yet, much to my mom’s disappointment, a big concern for many women with PCOS is the possibility of infertility. I know when I hear that word it almost makes it sound like getting pregnant is impossible. Luckily, infertility does not equal impossible. I’ve read many women’s stories online and via social media about their journey with PCOS, for weight loss mostly, and with dietary and lifestyle changes they’ve managed to lose significant amounts of weight, get healthier, and get pregnant. My husband and I want me to be at a healthy weight before having kids anyway so understanding what we could be dealing with early on really helps. I have a better idea of what I need to do for my body to work at its best.

The crazy hormones can really mess with a person. I know for me I’ve dealt with anxiety, depression, and mood swings for a while now. I always just thought it was normal, especially around that time of the month. That’s why I can’t wait to confirm with my doctor if this is my diagnosis. It’s not ideal of course. I’d much rather have nothing wrong with me, but if I do have PCOS I’ll be a hell of a lot relieved. It gives me hope knowing that my emotional problems can get better or even go away completely, I can conceive in the future, and that having trouble losing weight and easily gaining weight hasn’t all been my fault. Insulin-resistance makes it much easier to gain weight (darn you delicious carbs!!) and much harder to lose it without cutting back on carbs.

Hopefully the above helps y’all understand a little bit more about PCOS. Apparently it’s not something a lot of doctors are looking out for, so many women suffer from it and don’t know it. After my last post, I seeked out other blogs and information about PCOS. One that really helped and had tons of great info is PCOS Diet Support. So if you want to know more check that website out too.

Sweet, sweet relief

After a while of dealing with some annoying and sometimes painful skin issues, I finally found out what is going on with my body. Sort of. It is a relief having a name for it (which I won’t mention because any Google search for it brings up HORRIBLE, almost traumatizing, images) and knowing that I can do things to minimize the effects. After describing my symptoms and concerns to my doctor, she said I most likely suffer from insulin resistance. She stopped short of outright diagnosing me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) but that may change depending on my blood results.

I suffer from many of the common symptoms of PCOS, including emotional problems. It’s not something I typically talk to anyone about other than my husband and even then I don’t tell him everything because I know I sound crazy. I’ve always just tried putting on a happy face in front of family and friends. I tend to stress myself out and it’s most likely what has made my sleeping problems worse.

Luckily, now that I have an idea of what’s going on with me I can deal with it head on. It turns out a lot of the symptoms can be lessened or completely go away, including my skin condition, if I make a lifestyle change of lower carb diet and include daily exercise into my routine. If I can lose weight, which PCOS and any insulin-resistant disorders make more difficult (just my luck), I can take back some control. It really put into perspective a lot of issues I’ve mostly silently dealt with on my own and assumed I couldn’t do much about. For instance, last year when I was working out several times a week on my own, with a trainer, and watching what I ate and only managed to lose about 16 lbs. It was discouraging seeing all the hard work I was putting in and seeing little results. This ended up being part of the reason I gained the weight back. I kind of gave up and assumed it would take forever to see the results I wanted. Losing weight can be a really tough, emotional rollercoaster. At least for me it is.

I’m starting a search for online support, advice, and inspiration from others who have to deal with this.  I’m really hoping I can stick to my plan this time around…my health truly depends on it.